Even the most charmed of couples can go through phases of being not so great. Whether it’s a major, known issue, or you’re just a bit out of sorts with each other for awhile, no relationship is immune. The good news is, it doesn’t mean the end. And it doesn’t mean things won’t get back to good.

The bad news? When you’re the one who’s actually in the middle of a malfunctioning twosome, it’s really hard to see that things will get better. When that’s the case, it can be easy to lose your head. I mean, we’re only human. We’re weird animals. And when something that is dear to us, like a love, is threatened, we’ll do some crazy things in the name of saving it.

Which is all very understandable. If you’re in that situation and need some help getting things turned around, read on for three things you definitely should NOT do to get your relationship back on track. And by the way, the baby thing? I so did not do that.

Have a Baby

Seriously? I have to say this? Apparently, I do. Because people are still doing the whole punching-holes-in-condoms or I-swear-I’m-on-birth-control thing and tricking their significant other into an “accidental” pregnancy. And it’s not just the ladies…men do this too. A thousand shades of wrong, folks.

Invade his privacy

So his cell phone is sitting right there, and he’s nowhere to be found. You’re thinking that a quick peek at his text messages and email will give you all the insight you need into fixing whatever is wrong. Right? Wrong!! You’re delusional if you think that possible law breaking, not to mention a gross invasion of privacy will help you fix your relationship. What is will get you is a break up.

Checking a lover’s email, Facebook, text messages…all straight ways to freaking yourself out. Because either you find something that is incriminating against him/her and then you can’t use it against them (illegally obtained evidence is inadmissible in court, babies) or you find nothing and you’re just a snoop. Lose/Lose.

Move in with each other

When the idea of facing your problems becomes a downer (and let’s face it, who looks forward to that), the natural response is often to become physically closer. So the couple will move in together. It’s an illogical, if understandable, response that does nothing to solve the underlying issues in your relationship.

So why not move in together instead?! It gives you an exciting diversion and the thrill and illusory romance of embarking on cohabitation is usually enough to distract the two of you from what was causing problems. But hey! Whisper…those problems? They’ll be back. Only this time, you’re sharing a lease. Good job further complicating things.

This article was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of professional dating articles.

You’re at the mall hearing laughter and people chatting all around you. Couples are everywhere, holding hands and smiling. How did they meet, you wonder. At the grocery store, in the Laundromat, or perhaps on an internet dating site?

Just about now you’re wishing that you were part of a twosome. You’re not alone; almost everyone has felt this way at one point or another. Along with this wish they wonder why they haven’t found that special someone yet. Because that’s the way things are supposed to go, right? You go to school, start a career, fall in love.

Along with that, many people even hope to get married one day and maybe have children. Perfect right? Then in an instant your plans seems to change. One thing to remember is not give up. If you keep positive and remain aggressive, it will be only a matter of time before you meet someone and have the life you want.

In the interim, it is important to try to enjoy where you are at the time. If you are single, this is the time to do all things that you would not be able to do if you where tied down and married. As a single person you can do the following things without consulting anyone:

1.Travel at a moment’s notice. Let’s say you have friend who has an extra ticket to a major event, but you have to travel out of town to get there. As a single person, you can go without feeling as though you have hurt someone’s feelings.

2. You can date as many people as you like. As a single man or woman you can date a few people at a time until you make the choice to settle down with one person.

3. You don’t have to share your living and sleeping space. Nor do you have to share the TV remote and no one hogs your blankets. You can please yourself with music and stay up as late as you want.

4. If your plans suddenly change because you have a last minute invitation to dinner or a party, you don’t have to phone home to let anyone know.

5. You don’t have to cook and can eat out as much as you please. Also, you can keep your place as neat or as sloppy as you like.

Sure, the above points may sound selfish, but knowing what you can do when you’re single will help you adjust you mindset after you become involved with someone. When you do meet someone special, chances are you won’t mind so much about having to let someone know where you are and what you’re doing.

It could also help you make the decision as to whether or not you are ready to date at all. Dating when with the right person can be an amazing experience, but you should try to enjoy and make the most of your single life while waiting to meet the love of your life.

This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands more helpful dating posts.

Most of us have been in a relationship where we both know that there’s a problem. It’s that in between time; not quite together and not quite broken up. However, neither party wants to be the first to admit they want out.

“In between” time can be a time of strange thoughts. Though the two of you present a pretty normal couple face when you’re out in public, the thoughts in your head are definitely not for public consumption. Let’s take a look.

While you’re going through the “in between” stage, your detachment from your partner becomes greater and greater. As that distance lengthens, your thoughts change from one of being part of a couple to one of a single person.

There are three specific signs you should look for. If reading these is like looking in the mirror, it’s time for a talk with your partner, no matter how uncomfortable that may be. If you don’t chances are you’ll start acting like you’re single before you actually are.

1. You find yourself checking out other people

Not only that, you’re actually fantasizing about what it would be like to approach them. And what it would be like to be with them instead. You’re checking what your options are with others. All of these thoughts are pretty clear indicators that the ship has sailed on your current relationship.

Let’s face it; if you spend more time contemplating “what if” with other potential mates it’s not a stretch to deduce that you aren’t satisfied with what you have.

2. You crave time alone

A few years ago you’d have a bad day at work and come home to a lovely cuddle with your partner; it was the highlight of your day. Not anymore. Now the very thought of it is a sore point. It’s become just one more thing you have to deal with. Instead, you’re wishing for alone time.

Now I’m all for couples having separate time for themselves. I believe it recharges even the happiest relationships is each go their own way for small periods of time. If you cannot find comfort in your lover’s arms in times of stress, then you need to take a good hard look at what you’re still doing there.

3. Your plans are only for you

There was a time, not too long ago, that thoughts of breaking up were the farthest thing from your mind. All your plans, whether they be immediate or more long term, included the two of you; smiling and happy.

Once a relationship starts hitting some bumpy patches and you realize that, shock!, you are actually shakable, the future becomes a little less certain. And if things get really bad, to the point where you’ve gone back and forth contemplating ending things, you might find that you’ve mentally erased them from your plans. Maybe you didn’t even realize you were doing it. In cases like these, your subconscious has pretty much made up your mind for you.

This post was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds more helpful dating posts.

categories: internet dating,finding a date,dating tips,free online dating,sex,personals,singles,people,relationships,lifestyle,dating

Have you ever known a woman who would ditch her friends for a man? For example: On Monday, she would make plans to go with you to an exhibit and by Friday, the plans were altered because the new guy she met on an internet dating site just happened to call. Being the friend that you are, you always seem to understand and say that it is no big deal.

Deep down inside, you’re starting to become resentful and you feel more than a bit neglected. Here’s a news flash for you; guys don’t break guy plans to spend time with you, so you might want to think twice before cancelling gal pal plans for a guy. In truth, if he cared for you at all he’d be the first one to insist that you keep your original plan.

Business has a policy of “first come, first served”. Well, I think relationships should be like that too. A strong relationship with a man is not going to wither and die because you spend time with friends now and again. In fact, it should strengthen your relationship because it shows your guy that you have a life outside of him. Your friends are just as important as your new sweetie; you’ve known them longer.

Now, there are probably a few women out there that may be saying that you shouldn’t let your friends come between you and your man. On the flip side, should you let your man come between you and your friends? Think about it. There are a certain percentage of women who meet someone new and begin dating and then become totally involved with their man.

Phone calls become scarce as her new relationship consumes all her time. Perhaps the woman in question simply feels that this man is all she needs. Along with her friends, her work and other aspects of her personal may suffer as well. While you might think that you’d never let this happen to you, most women don’t do this conscientiously, it just sort of sneaks up on them.

Love should complement you, not make you brain dead and certainly not make you lose your job or your friends. Remember if and when the courtship is over, you will need them both, especially the latter. The people you did not have time for will be the same people that you will be calling the most to pour your heart out, and to seek some type of counsel.

Although your friends may not say it, they probably wanted to confront you all along, but were apprehensive about putting a barrier on the friendship. Most caring friends keep their mouth shut and just listen to the sob story that is entirely of your own making.

If your guy can’t understand that you have a life that may not include him, then you don’t need him. It’s that simple. Remember, you don’t have to lose your identity to be in love or to be involved in a relationship. A relationship should add to your life, not take away from it.

This article was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of professional dating articles.

categories: internet dating,finding a date,dating tips,free online dating,sex,personals,singles,people,relationships,lifestyle,dating

When we meet someone, we begin the mind-numbing game of trying to decipher every little word and move they make, every approach they take in all the games people play, trying to figure out if they like us or not.

Why do we women do this to ourselves? I can’t for the life of me figure that out! Mind you, I’m not innocent either. After all, you don’t become a relationship writer without a whole lot of relationship self analysis. After all of which I have concluded that straining ourselves to figure out a man’s emotions is just too much work. When really, it’s not that complicated.

Provided you’re not receiving totally mixed signals from him, you should just follow your instincts in determining whether or not he’s smitten with you. You can go analyze this to death of you want, but what it comes down to is what you feel deep down. Chances are your intuition about his feelings is probably spot on.

That being said there are still those of you who like nothing better than examining his every word. You actually like playing the “he loves me, he loves me not” game. To ensure you’re on the winning side, here’s a cheat sheet. If you’re still not sure, just ask him outright.

He’s told his friends about you

When you meet his friends for the first time, and you’re not a surprise to them, that’s a good thing. It means he’s talked about you with them. If he wasn’t really interested in you, he wouldn’t have bothered mentioning you.

He calls during non-booty call hours

I could say something about calling you the day after your first, or even second, date. Sadly most men still believe they need to wait a week before calling, which is such an old and out of date notion.

You know just as well as I do that if he doesn’t call the next day, it does not mean that he is not interested in you. But, if his next call comes at 11:30 on Friday night, this guy is more ass than class. If that’s what you want, then go for it. But a booty call isn’t likely someone who will be interested in meeting your parents. Those calls aside, if he calls within a week of your date, he’s interested.

He’s really listening

When men are interested in someone, they really do want to be just a little bit romantic. And they know that the best way to accomplish that is by knowing things about her. All of which means he’s really listening to you when you talk about your likes and dislikes. After all, he needs the facts before he can plan his romantic assault.

This article was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of professional dating articles.

categories: internet dating,finding a date,dating tips,free online dating,sex,personals,singles,people,relationships,lifestyle,dating

So you are one of the fortunate people who have been chatting online with someone great while browsing internet dating sites. You have been talking and enjoying one another’s conversations for a few weeks and you both feel that it is time to meet to take the relationship to the next level. When planning your first date, how do you decide whether to meet for coffee or a drink or whether to meet for dinner?

More to the point, how are you going to decide who pays? Money can be a sore point for some people. Some divorce because of it, others argue about it nonstop, and friendships have been known to end because of it. It’s such a touchy subject that ignites so many emotions. Dating should be fun, so how do you decide?

It all depends on how comfortable to feel with your new internet dating sweetie. If talking about it doesn’t present an issue, then by all means, bring it up. Tradition says that most men are open to paying for both at least initially. It’s certainly easier and allows for the two people involved to talk about their interests rather than about money.

If things continue to go well and you end up in a relationship, then things naturally progress and a fair exchange usually results. Women are just as willing to pay for things as the men they date. However, before getting to that point, these might be a few things to consider.

1. Discuss a day and time you want to meet.

This is critical for a first date. Women are usually more cautious than men about meeting for the first time and most prefer to meet while it is still daylight and in a public place. The man may have a totally different idea for a date in mind, so it’s important that you talk about this before going out.

2. Discuss where you want to go.

Once you’ve established when you’re going to meet, you need to decide what it is you’re going to do. Will it be meeting for coffee, lunch or dinner, a movie, the museum or a concert? By this time you should have a pretty good idea of each others’ likes and dislikes.

3. What are you going to wear?

What you’ll wear is usually decided by where you’re going. You don’t want to wear you hiking gear to a swanky French restaurant, nor do you want to wear killer heels on the hiking trail. There are enough things to be nervous about on the first date, so don’t make what you’re wearing one of them.

You’ve decided the when, where and what. Now it’s time to let nature take its course. Have fun getting to know each other, that’s what first dates are all about. It’s not mandatory to discuss who pays for what and there will always to time to bring it up during the date itself. Now relax, and remember to smile!

This post was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds more helpful dating posts.

categories: internet dating,finding a date,dating tips,free online dating,sex,personals,singles,people,relationships,lifestyle,dating

You probably know someone, or at least read a book where this happens; two people meet, fall head over heels in love, and do something totally extreme. Like getting married while jumping out of an airplane or moving (running away??) to Greenland. While it sounds terribly romantic, is it really?

I’m of two minds about this one, probably because I’ve been there. In my younger, yet equally head strong, days, I completely lost it over a man who was 15 years older than me. We’d been dating for just three months when in a flurry of emotion I sublet my amazing apartment, packed my bags and moved in with him.

What happened next was the stuff of nightmares not romantic dreams. He attacked me. Though I’m kind of glib about it now, at the time I felt like my world had fallen apart. Not only was I loveless, I was homeless. And on top of all that, I’d started to doubt my own abilities about feelings and instincts. It happened so suddenly and so intensely it was as though I was watching myself in a movie.

Should I have been more discerning about what could possibly lie ahead? Perhaps. But seeing as how I did make it out alive, I’m not sure if I would do things any differently if I could go back. Sometimes putting a buffer on happenstances of the heart like this also puts a buffer on the amount of emotion you get to experience.

I think that’s the way a lot of leap before you look lovers look at things. Whatever may come, they risk taking the good with the bad. They never sacrifice the good to same themselves from potential bad. Without taking a chance on anything, the reason, you’ll just end up an old sad bundle of middle ground. Life is simply too short not to chance an occasional extreme.

That said, there is another side to this coin. So maybe I really am all about following your heart, even if it’s leading you to some unexpected places off of your chosen path. But there’s a difference between having a chance encounter with someone amazing who ends up being a once-in-a-lifetime, drop everything and go for it lover and being someone who habitually thrives on the drama of falling in and out of love.

People like this most certainly exist. I call them “love-bleweeds”. They make a life out of tumbling around, building up one relationship and life, only to completely uproot and reconfigure when the next one comes along. After you’ve done this for long enough, it’s very possible to forget how to be calm, comfortable and exercise any follow through.

If it makes some people happy to live like this then that’s all well and good. What isn’t okay is the mess they leave behind when they, once again, pull up stakes. When one sets up a life, others get pulled into that life; friends, coworkers, lovers, neighbors and pets. When the next “soulmate” comes along and they drop everything, they’re leaving a lot of people in their wake who are going to be missing them when they’re gone.

It’s a rare thing full of unspeakable joy when you fall in love hard, fast and intense. You simply have to go for it. And if you’re really lucky, and you’ve had some experience, perhaps you’ll master doing so and keeping the rest of your life intact without having to sacrifice any of love’s intensity.

This post was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands of professional dating posts.

categories: internet dating,finding a date,dating tips,free online dating,sex,personals,singles,people,relationships,lifestyle,dating

It been a few good months since you and your mate met on an internet dating site and you finally feel like the time has come for you to take your first trip together. You have traveled with your family and you have traveled with your friends.

In each instance, it has always been pretty bearable, so going on a trip with your significant other should totally be a breeze. In fact, just the thought of traveling together seems like tons of fun. One thing to remember is that we all travel differently so there are a few things to consider when going on a trip with your partner.

You need to talk about where you’ll travel to. Some of us (myself included) want nothing more than a beach and a comfortable beach chair beside the ocean. Others want to take in the sun on the ski hill. Whatever your preference, make sure you and your sweetie agree on your destination. Compromise may be the order of the day.

You need to decide when to take your trip. Will you go for a last minute deal and leave next week? Or are you more of a planner and would prefer going next month or even a two or three months from now? Chances are each of you will have different ideas about timing.

The next thing to decide is how long are you going away for? You might have two weeks of vacation, your girl/boyfriend may only have one. If either of you have just started a new job, chances are you’re not eligible to vacation time, so you’ll need to decide if you can afford to take unpaid time off.

Once these details have been ironed out and you both embark on your travel, the next thing to think about is your vacation styles. There are people who want to spend every waking moment visiting every site and tourist attraction available, while others like to relax. They figure the reason they took the time off was to relax and rejuvenate.

Totally contrasting vacation styles can be very frustrating. Without some kind of plan, you’re sure to clash. If this sounds like you and your partner, you’ll have to compromise to ensure that you each get in some of the things that are important to you. Don’t forget, you don’t need to spend every minute of your vacation together.

If you can agree to take turns doing the things that each of you enjoy, you’ll have a mutually satisfying time. A couple’s first trip together should be a fun and exciting time. And it will be, provided you talk about your expectations beforehand.

This post was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of helpful dating posts.

categories: internet dating,finding a date,dating tips,free online dating,sex,personals,singles,people,relationships,lifestyle,dating

Ah love! One of life’s greatest and most wonderful mysteries. And as long as there has been love, there have been arguments between the sexes. Men say they don’t understand women. Women say men are insensitive. The battle continues with neither sex coming out ahead. Women have one complaint in particular in common.

It’s always been a mystery to women that men seem incapable of following through on the simplest of things. Specifically the promise to call at a specific time. The time comes and goes, and there was no phone call to be had. So women wonder if he ever meant to call at all? And don’t even get me started on the guys who make plans to spend time together, yet when that time comes, he’s nowhere to be found.

For the women like me who are curious and inquisitive we demand to know why. We expect to be given a reason for this apparent insensitivity. We all know that men and women are different, but that difference does not excuse the fact that sometimes other people’s feelings get hurt when someone appears only to think of themselves.

Does letting their girlfriends know they are going to be a bit late, remind them of having to report to their mothers when they were little boys? Please note: This request to be informed of what’s going on is just a form of concern. It’s not a ploy to know your whereabouts twenty-four hours a day, and just like your mother we worry when you don’t call when we expect you to.

Any men who might be reading this would probably say that women nag or bitch, when in fact they know that women’s comments on this matter are justified. They know that what women are saying applies to them; they’re guilty as charged.

We’ve all heard that the truth hurts, and emotionally it does hurt, just as it does when you promise a woman that you are going to do one thing, and you turn around and do another that totally excludes her. How can someone believe that feels good? The answer? It doesn’t! Then there is the question of respect. In fact, many of us have been stood up at least once in our lives and we know how painful it is.

Any relationship worth keeping is based on trust and honesty. When you’re involved in a friendship or a romantic relationship show respect for the other person by not purposely hurting their feelings. Don’t create problems where none need exist.

So for all you fellows out there, here’s a bit of good advice. If you promise a phone call, then call. Same goes for emails, text messages or a visit. If for some reason you can’t make it, let your lady know. If nothing else it demonstrates that you respect her and that she’s important to you.

This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds more professional dating posts.

categories: internet dating,finding a date,dating tips,free online dating,sex,personals,singles,people,relationships,lifestyle,dating

When you end a long term relationship it can take awhile before you decide to start dating again. Once you do so, you may need a strategy. Will you ask your friends to get you together with someone, hit the bar scene, or maybe sign up for an internet dating service?

Something else to consider is whether or not you should take some time off and just think about if you even want to start dating again right away. If you do decide to take a dating break, how are you going to get back into the swing of things?

If in fact you have made the decision to date keep reading for more tips;

1. Be willing to try something new so that you may meet new people at places that you perhaps excluded in the past. If you have never been to a certain venue or new neighborhood, why not take a chance and experience something new. Go to some of the political rallies, free concerts and free networking events. It is a great place to meet singles and support something that you believe in. Right away you and the person that you meet have one thing in common.

2. Despite what everyone says about blind dates, sometimes others really do know best. If a friend, family member or co-worker wants to set you up on a blind date, go for it! You just never know!

3. Consider attending religious services. No matter your faith, there’s no denying that faith draws people together; you’d be surprised at the number of singles that attend services. While your feeding your soul, get involved in the activities from mentoring kids to study groups.

4. Put your volunteer hat on and spend some time at the local food bank or other charitable organization. Given the economic times, the less fortunate are growing in numbers. You’ll meet new people and feel good about doing so.

5. Join an internet dating site! They’re hugely popular and if you join a free site, costs you nothing. Ask friends and family for recommendations of which site(s) to join. As always with internet dating, don’t reveal too much about yourself online, and always meet your date in a public place.

6. Go out with a group of friends or co-workers and have a good time. This can boost your confidence and people are attracted to confident people. For instance: You and a few co-workers may go out after work for Happy Hour. Note: You always seem to find something when you’re not looking for it. This also applies in love.

Starting afresh in the dating world can feel risky but once you take the plunge chances are you’ll have fun. Just because you had a broken heart yesterday doesn’t mean there is no paradise! Sure, you make take a few wrong turns in the road, but once you get to your destination, those wrong turns will have been worth it.

This article was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds more helpful dating articles.

categories: internet dating,finding a date,dating tips,free online dating,sex,personals,singles,people,relationships,lifestyle,dating